I'm going to therapy at the advice of my family doctor to help me learn better coping skills for dealing with stress. Ones that don't involve stomach uclers or bulimia. Apparently, internalizing how you're feeling usually ends badly. Who knew? I think the reason I lack coping skills is because nothing ever really used to stress me out.
The problem I am now facing in therapy is that I don't say anything. I grew up in a small city in New Brunswick. I lived there until I was 24. Anyone who has ever lived in a small town for any length of time could tell you that you don't have to tell anyone your business there. They already know. I once found out I was getting dumped by the kid who worked at the gas station by my house. When I went to pay for my gas, instead of "Have a nice day", he said "I'm really sorry about you and Craig, that stinks". Even though I've now lived in Calgary for almost 4 years, I'm still learning proper big city etiquette. For example, you cannot expect the people in front of you to hold the door. If you do, you will have the painful experience of having a glass door smash into your nose.
So, needless to say, I'm not really sure what it is I'm supposed to be telling this woman. And now that I have been in Calgary for 4 years, I've grown accustomed to telling people as little about me as possible. (I figured out that in a big city, nobody really cares) All of her intrusive questions are met with polite responses completely void of any unnecessary detail. It leaves her with the dilemma of not knowing if anything she's saying is doing any good. I really do like the woman. She's nice, intelligent, and she has a calming disposition. I offered to keep a journal so she could read it and get a better idea of what I think about. If I wasn't so lazy, it would have been an excellent idea. Blogging was the next solution she came up with. I'm sure she has some very good reason for suggesting this. I don't know what that could possibly be, but I really hope she does.
Anyway, I suppose since she's trying so hard, I should put forth an equal amount of effort. Question though; is it normal that the idea of strangers reading this doesn't bother me nearly as much as the idea of people I actually know reading it? I'm a little afraid of what will happen when people who think I like them find out I don't and what will happen when the people who think I'm normal, find out I'm not....
I think you should come back and visit this "small town". I miss you! Don't worry about the people finding out that you don't like them....I think they already know and if they can't read your signs then you could post it on a billboard and they still would not get it....and normal...what's normal.... we are all a little odd but that's what makes us so much fun... love you...miss you...
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